Sometime ago while reading a book I came across a
quote that caught my attention - “There are four basic human needs - food, sleep,
sex and revenge.” My immediate reaction
was - Really? I read it again. Oh! don’t take me otherwise, I agree with the
first three needs but Revenge? I mean, seriously? How can revenge be a basic
need for a human?
When I thought closely, may be not a basic need,
but isn't revenge or hatred something that somewhere derives many of us. At some
point of time in life, every one of us must have done something or thought of
doing something to take revenge. Though revenge is a BIG word however, in many
situations when we get hurt, we want to hurt or wish that the other person would
go through the same pain which we have gone through. Like, it can be your lover
or your ex who cheated on you and left you emotionally drained and broken or
may be a relative who had done wrong to you or to your family that would take
years to come out of it or have an everlasting effect on your life. In fact,
there are very common scenarios when we say – ‘Let the time come and I will
show you’.
Then over the period, the feeling of revenge
gradually turns into hatred that dwells in us day and night. We start living
for only one reason just to show the person who has hurt us that we can do
anything. In fact to prove that we are doing really better without them or even
after what they have done to us. We start doing things to show off and every
moment of life is spent in proving something to someone. We set goals in our
lives to prove ourselves to others and not because we want to feel accomplished
and good about ourselves.
And here I have a question. Do you actually think
that living a life to take revenge or in hatred, is a life worth living for?
You are giving that person your whole life and its purpose, without even
knowing it. You are living each moment of your life for others and hence making
them the sole reason of your existence. It is like locking yourself and giving
away the key to someone who will never let you free.
“Holding anger is a poison...It eats you from
inside...We think that by hating someone we hurt them...But hatred is a curved
blade...and the harm we do to others...we also do to ourselves.”
-Mitch Albom (The five people you meet in
heaven)
Yes, hatred is in the basic nature of humans and it
is easy to fall for hatred when you are hurt. Few years ago, I would have acted
in the same way (not exactly though, but closer to this ;) ), if someone would have
hurt me. Time changes and so we learn and evolve. And then one day, when I was
reading Shiva trilogy by Amish Tripathi, I got words for what I learnt. He has written:
“The opposite of love is not hate. Hate is just love gone
bad. The actual opposite of love is apathy. When you don’t care a damn as to
what happens to the other person.”
So true! Isn't it like when we love we give a part
of us to the person we love. And same is what happens when we hate. We give
away a part of us to the person but this time that person is just not worth it.
If you hate someone that means you still feel something and are carrying that
person in your mind and that person can still get to you in some way even if
you choose not to speak to him.
Believe me, there can’t be a better revenge than
apathy. I know it is easier said than done. It is hard to implement. But, at least
give it a shot. I strongly believe in – ‘Fake
it till you become it’. Start with pretending that you don’t give a damn
and then with time, you actually won’t give a damn and can stand with that
person in the same room unaffected.
It is your life and it is only you who should
decide what you want to do with it – giving it away for someone who once did
you wrong or living it for yourself and your loved ones? Why to waste any
single moment of your life in hating someone or for someone who does not
deserve? You can have peace, when you first make it with yourself. Therefore, whatever
happened or who so ever hurt you in anyway, let it go, not for anyone else but for
you. Don’t carry any baggage of hatred. To move on happily, learn to forgive
but never forget what it taught you.
Life is so beautiful and we get it once. Live every
moment and celebrate life. After all,
Life is what you make it!
P.S: Don’t forget to share your thoughts and
experience. It is always wonderful to know what you all think about it.
